Online Security: Protecting Yourself Against Online Predators

One of the things parents dread when their kids go online is the threat of online predators. You know the typical stereotype: older men pretending to be young and luring young kids to kidnap them. However, the reality is actually far different. That means many of the precautions based on this stereotype are inadequate and ineffective at stopping the actions of these criminals. It’s important to learn about the problem and follow smarter guidelines in order to help protect yourself against online predators.

Characteristics of Online Predators

News reports have generally portrayed online predators as people who lurk in popular social media sites looking for victims. They use trickery to deceive naive young children into thinking that they’re kids with the goal of meeting them offline. Then they kidnap and sexually abuse them. However, research suggests this portrayal is largely inaccurate.

First, only about 5% of online predators try to pretend that they’re young. They often reveal that they’re older, which may have a certain appeal to adventurous young teens seeking attention and understanding. Instead of using trickery, they try to develop a relationship with and seduce their victims. This process is called grooming, which will be discussed later.

The use of force and violence is also rare, consisting of only about 5% of cases. In other words, most of these crimes fit the definition of statutory rape (voluntary sexual relations involving someone under the age of consent) instead of forcible rape. But the lack of force in these cases doesn’t mean that there is no coercion. These are still serious sex crimes than involve exploiting an imbalance of power. The dynamics of statutory rape vary widely and can involve other means of control over the victim, from peer pressure to intimidation.

In addition, online predators don’t really prey on naive young children. They’re mostly after teens aged 13-17 years old (accounting for about 99% of the victims). Teens aged 12-15 are the most targeted, with about 48% of victims being age 13-14. Very few, if any, are younger than 12. By age 12-13, teens already have an understanding of the social complexities of the Internet comparable to adults, so they aren’t naive in this sense.

The Spectrum of Online Predators

Online predators themselves are often associated with sadistic child molesters and pedophilia. But in reality, that’s most often not the case, and they’re much less uniform and one-dimensional. For one, since they target teens, they usually don’t fit the clinical definition of pedophile (those who target prepubescent children).

Though some target teens because they are sexually attracted to adolescents, others may do so because they seek admiration from their victims, fear adult partners, want to relive adolescent experiences, or want the feeling of power from being able to control their victims. In some cases, it’s quite possible that the purpose of luring a victim into an offline meeting is completely non-sexual in nature.

The personal characteristics of online predators also vary. While nearly all are men, and some of them are deviants like the stereotype suggests, a surprising amount are older, more middle-class (in income and employment), and have fewer (if any) previous criminal arrests. Both groups, however, had similar rates of child pornography possession (about 40%) and drug abuse (about 15%).

The Grooming Process

Most online predators are patient enough to spend the time and effort to develop a relationship with the victim. They often know exactly what to say to impress teens and gain their trust. Some shower their victims with flattery and/or gifts, such as fancy clothes or money. Some even send their victims plane or train tickets so that they can travel to them or offer to travel to the victim’s place to meet up. Teens are at an age where they seek attention and acceptance, and someone who gives them this much attention and praise can seem very attractive.

Once online predators have established a strong relationship with their victims, they slowly introduce sexual content into conversations, taking advantage of teens’ natural interest in sexual matters. This is to make their victims think that such criminal relations are actually normal. Over time, as their victims become more interested, they will try to drive a wedge between the victims and their friends and family members in order to keep the nature of the relationship a secret. At the end of the grooming phase, the victims may be so infatuated with them that they may voluntarily have sexual encounters with the predators more than once (about 73% of victims).

Most victims are girls (about 75%), but boys can also be targeted. Boys who are gay or questioning their sexual orientation are especially vulnerable because they may be having trouble fitting in at school or even at home.

Protecting Yourself

Contrary to popular belief, putting personal information on social media profiles and other places on the Internet is not a risk factor by itself. After all, the vast majority of people who have social media profiles have them without incident. It can also be pretty hard to have any social presence online without putting some personal information out there. Rather, it’s putting information suggesting an interest in sexuality and openly communicating with strangers that’s the real danger.

It’s also rare for teens to receive unwanted sexual solicitations in the first place (less than 10%). It’s even rarer for the solicitors to try to make contact with them offline (about 4%). The vast majority of online communication is safe.

Instead of following blanket advice like “don’t put personal information online” or “don’t talk to strangers”, look for red flags to assess the risk. Is this person getting uncomfortably friendly with me or flattering me? Red flag. Is this person asking for more personal information than I’m comfortable with giving? Red flag. Is this person trying to pressuring me into doing something? Red flag. If you start seeing more than one red flag, you should seriously think about stopping communications with that person. Don’t take the risk if something doesn’t seem right.

Additional tips

Follow these additional guidelines to help protect yourself:

Resist peer pressure to put sexually suggestive material on your profile or do other risky things. Doing so might increase your popularity, but it’s not worth the risk. Things you put online can be difficult, if not downright impossible, to take down later. Also, you never know who might be looking at them.
Cover your webcam when you’re not using it. Your webcam can be hacked so that it turns on when you don’t want it to. This can allow someone to take embarrassing pictures or videos of you and then blackmail you with them (sometimes called “sextortion”). You can counter this simply by putting a strip of masking tape over the camera.
Immediately refuse to engage in any sexual conversation with someone you don’t know. It doesn’t matter how interesting or understanding that person is. This isn’t someone you should be talking to. Some predators bring up the topic of sex or request pictures right away, but will leave if refused. These types are looking for instant gratification. Stopping an uncomfortable conversation immediately also sends a strong message to others who are trying to groom you that you’re not interested.
Don’t give personal information to strangers, especially if it’s something you haven’t put it in an online profile. It’s probably obvious by now, but if some stranger is asking for such sensitive personal information, it’s a strong indication that the person is trying to groom you.
Don’t send sexual pictures of yourself or friends to anyone. Taking and sending these kinds of pictures of yourself and other minors might seem fun or romantic, but it can get you (yes, you!) into trouble with child pornography laws. The production, possession, and spreading of such material are serious crimes.
Try to have nondescript screen names. If you have a sexually suggestive one or one that indicates some personal information, it may encourage predators to target you.
If a friend starts acting strangely after meeting someone online, talk to them about it and report it if necessary. As you know, online predators may try to drive a wedge between the victim and his or her closest contacts. If you see signs of strange behavior, talk to your friend about it and try to convince him or her to stop talking to that person if you think that person could be a predator. If you have concerns but can’t get through to your friend, report it to the proper authorities.
Report inappropriate online communications. While it may be easier to just block the person or log off, you should take screenshots and report the incident to the website or other authorities. You may be helping others by removing a potential predator.
If you do decide to meet someone offline, be very cautious. Go with a friend, bring your phone, and arrange the meeting in a public place preferably during the day. Also, have an exit plan in case things turn uncomfortable or dangerous.